The Diagnosis

When I was in the ninth grade, my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer. I can remember every moment from that day like it was yesterday. If I close my eyes I can replay it all.

That morning at school I was sitting in Science class with Mr. Delprete. I remember a bird flying into the classroom. It was for sure funny for a bit. Everyone was laughing because for sure you don't expect that to happen during the day. But after the fuss was over I remember that my Nana said once that a bird flying into a window is bad luck or that change is coming. It felt weird, but I continued on with my day.

Later in the day I received a text from my mom that "Dad was picking me up and I should come straight home after school". I thought this was weird because my dad was never home from work at pick up time. This gave me an unsettling feeling as the day continued.

My Dad pulled up in front of the school. He seemed serious but my Dad always seemed kind of serious. So we drove home, it was quiet. We pulled up onto my block and I remember noticing that it was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing the leaves on the trees just so slowly. I could see a few family member cars at the house which wasn't typical for a school day afternoon.

I remember getting out of the car and looking around, as if I had to prepare myself to walk into my own house. I walk inside my side door, my dad behind me, I hear sobs coming from the basement. That's were my brother's room was. I walked up the two steps into my kitchen and turned right. At the kitchen table I saw my mom and my Aunt Liz. They were sitting there, waiting for me with a box of tissues. My mom asked me to come sit down for a few minutes. I remember everyone's demeanor being very gentle, calm and quiet. I was feeling very uncomfortable, my body felt warm and I felt a lump in my throat. I looked over at my Dad who was leaning up against the sink, staring at the floor with his hand on his chin. I remember thinking how sad his eyes looked.

My mother started to speak. As she did she placed her hand on top of mine. She said, "Allissa, I had to go for some testing. I spoke with the doctors today and it turns out that I have been diagnosed with breast cancer. I want you to know that we are going to fight this. You are my shining little star and if you can be strong than I can be strong. I promise I will fight this as hard as I can. We will stay strong and do this as a family."

Just writing those words she had to share with me and her two other children. The pain she must of felt in her heart, I never thought about until now.

So that was it, in the blink of an eye, in a few short sentences, my whole world was changed. From that moment on nothing would ever be the same and the future my parents thought they may have had was taken from them. Everything that happened that day made complete sense. The bird, the text, dad picking me up, the sobs, my dad's sad eyes, the tissue box.

I remember soaking it all in, slowly leaving the table, walking upstairs to my room, shutting the door, sitting against the wall and just crying.

This is where our journey with cancer started.